JB/015/514/001

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199

In the choice of subjects for conversation abstential
benevolence will often find occasion for its exercise. Every
man's ha topics of his own which are mind is so organized, – or at all events so trained
by habit & usage that certain topics are less pleasurable
than others. Let those be avoided which are the least
agreeable – & in proportion to their disagreeableness
be your anxiety to shun them. Choose those as the
The presence of important interests may require
the introduction of matters set subjects on which there
is a known discordance of opinion. Necessity – or
preponderant benefit – can alone justify their being
brought forward.+

Avoid on all occasions wounding the Arms
self-love of another. If a man misunderstand – or
do not understand your conversation attribute the
failure not to misconception on his part, but to
misexpression on yours. For misexpression may be
the cause of misconception & there is no reason for
attributing seeking an explanation which will give
pain, when one is at hand which can give no pain.

+ Note. I remember an interesting case in point. For two or three
years after my acquaintance with Mr Bentham, we had frequent
discussions on some of the points of religious controversy. Certainly on
his part there was no diminution of affection towards me, – on mine,
no diminution of reverence towards him – notwithstanding the unchanged
state of our minds on the subject in question, after so many & such long debates.
One day he said to me – "I shall not change your mind, I see – you will
not change mine you know. If we go on, I shall give you pain – or you
will give me pain and in either case pain to both will be the consequence. We will never talk on this subject matter again." Nor did we.
And yet if ever there were a man who unveiled his bosom to
another, – Bentham's was unveiled his to me. J. Bo.

Identifier: | JB/015/514/001 "JB/" can not be assigned to a declared number type with value 15.
Date_1		Marginal Summary Numbering
Box	015	Main Headings	deontology
Folio number	514	Info in main headings field
Image	001	Titles
Category	linking material	Number of Pages	1
Recto/Verso	recto	Page Numbering	f199
Penner	sir john bowring	Watermarks
Marginals		Paper Producer
Corrections		Paper Produced in Year
Notes public		ID Number	5730
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