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Well there is no truth in woman say I, as a man
says of course when he fancies he has found one thats
false. one such however I have found sure enough.
its something more than fancy. Alas!Miss Letty! Miss Letty, what will become
of you Have you forgot already what your mama
I am sure has told you, many's the good time and oft of the fate of those little misses who
play with fire? Alas how cruelly have you sported
with my flame!
I hope I should have had more prudence and
philosophy; and yet it's ten to one but what if
Miss L. kind ingenuousness had not prevented me, I have proof of it in black and white I should have
sallied forth upon the enquiry. I'll tell you what
I should have done— I did something likethis as I was saying it once upon
a much less occasion and afterwards I will tell you that true.
There was a Frenchman merchant who had shewn me
some civilities abroad. He was to come to England
some time afterwards. I asked him, and he promised
to come and see me. He called but as I
happened not to be at home - he left me his address
thinking it sufficient to 'mention such a house
in Bell Alley. As it happens, there are There 5 or 6
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and twenty. Bell Alleys in and about London: I
found their namesdirec in the London Directory, and to get
a line conveyed to him, that he might not think I slighted
him I could think of no other expedient than sending
a Penny Post letter to each every one of these places.
One of my Letters accordingly found him out
Near "or very near or just by Lincoln's Inn" said Miss I am not sure
which but I should have looked again before I had
done any thing! said Miss Letty in her letter to Mr Lind. supposing it only
near, that could At a Miss Ward's a Milliner's she says in her
letter to me. Let it be only near: that can hardly
mean a greater distance further off than half a mile. Well then
to find out this Mrs Ward, what should I have done
I should have taken out my map of London, & my compasses,
and setting one foot in Lincoln's Inn I should
have swept a arch, with a radius answering to half a
mile - W Within that circle I should have - your
putting in pirking in my pretty face into all the Milliners
Shop's in Town to improve for his <add>high and low I could get scent of.</add> What a deal of execution I should
have done on my way! It's well for the Milliner's Girls
Mrs Ward turned out so soon to be a non-entity. What an
escape too has the public had - what a loss there would have been
of a time so valuable to it as mine must needs be?
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There are certain pleasing experiments a man has commonly at least frequently made before he arrives at comes to that discovery: I mean that <add>he hasthere is no truth in women</add> in that there is some thing however to console him: I. I have nothing to console me.
A, With respect to certain matters it would be my anxiety wish and care to keep peace
in families. especially where matters of such
importance are liable to come into dispute
I do hereby adjudge and determine, calling
into my assistance all the elucidating
powers inherent in my profession - as follows.
All that is liberally free in these presents, is
the sole and lawful property of Miss
Lind: if there every be any thing that is otherwise false in which there is shewn
it belongs naturally to Miss Letty. of any where has an indisputable
right to it.
If any question should still arise, which I would
not suppose, what shall part thereof shall be severally
and respectively so deemed: I would recommend
to call in Miss D. herself to be Arbitratrix Umpire
and I do hereby most humbly and respectfully
request of her the said Miss Dunkley to take
upon her that office. If she should condescend there should be occasion
so far, I further beg that she may sign her award, and
that I may see it.
A-propos this in a parenthesis — I happen'd to drop in at a certain house yesterday Saturday The master not at home, I found another person there very busy putting up a letter apprehending from a word or two . I some little insignificant Cook. that I was a party not wholly unconcerned in it the spirit of impertinence seized me, and after a little struggle. I made myself master
You know Friend Squire Sancho found it much more convenient to lay the lashes in his own Shoulders than to receive them from Don Quixote
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What Miss Letty says tells, I find I am to interpret
there is but one rule for interpreting
it is by the rule of contracts. For Miss D.'s sake forsooth
I should not have seen her half a dozen times
more? I understand - Tell me, then, Miss Mary, for you will
not deceive me, telling me as the most affected likely
means of perfecting my care, what expressions what is it she has said of me?
of contempt has she utter'd ridicule of contempt has she let escape her for the awkward
being Miss Letty forced into her sweet company? What sport has she made of the embarrassment It will may be the best chance of giving me I have for purchasing lasting
ease at this expence of a momentary pain. If I
was troublesome to her, I have smarted twas
your doing Miss Letty, that's one comfort:
and I have smarted for it, she knows not
nor would I have you tell her, how severely.
I am glad the good books I sent you have had so salutary an effect You do well to make an abridgment deduction of your restpose: two hours time
tis the least atonement you can offer for the
breach you have made in mine
beginning going first down with Chancery Lane and so veering about
regularly to the right or left till I came around to the line
& set out with .
You see what shifts expedients I have upon to elude that Miss Letty vivacity of N. L which notwithstanding it is temper'd to the degree I cannot but acknowledge it to be with politeness, I stand so much in dread something of this sort I was able to say, or she would have said it for me. but people a mab has said of himself the worst people can say of him, they hold their tongues
What Miss Lind said about her brothers wishes, Colchester as soon as the 26th of August, I am satisfied was rather wish than expectation. I would gladly have us if I had seen any chance of its being complied with Mr L expects his Niece from Derbyshire very soon
I am glad however to find I hope at least find have one true friend at least
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jeremy bentham |
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letter 114, vol 1 |
23116 |
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