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-ly inconvenience I
can think of is, that
if the institution were
to become general +
Mrs Ch. H. and other
gentlewomen of her
calling would be
obliged either to give
up housekeeping,
or to take up with
low wenches or
married ladies. I
Back to p. 41.
mammon of power, might here give themselves a rich treat adapted to
their several tastes, and unimbittered by contradiction.+2 In short their happiness
+2 Two and two might
here be less than four, or
the moon might be made
of green cheese, if any
gentleman, who were
rich enough, chose to
have her of that
material. Surrounded
by a circle of pupils,
obsequious beyond
any thing as yet known
under the name of
obsequiousness,
would might in such a mansion be compleat, if any moderate number of adherents could content in
them, which unhappily is not the case. At the end of some twenty or five
and twenty years, introduce the Scholars of the different Schools to one
another, observing first to tie their hands behind them, and you will see good
sport: though perhaps you may think there is sport enough of that kind of sport it
already. But if you throw out this hint to any body, you will take care, as far as
sects and religions are concerned, not to mention names: for how few of these
are there but would be ready to pull us to pieces if they saw their rivals
set down upon the same line as candidates for the same advantage? and this is what the reward
we should get by our impartiality. You may however venture to hint, that
the money which is now laid out for propagating controversy, by founding
sermons and lectures (taking care not to mention what sermons or what
lectures) might be laid out with greater certainty of advantage in the founding
controversical — Inspection-schools. The preachers must be sad bunglers
indeed, if they have not there as many adherents as auditors: which is not
always the case in the world at large I As to Flaggellation, and other +3
+3 such ceremonies,
which, more through
custom than necessity,
are used by way of
punishment in Schools,
but which, under some
institutions, for the
routine of life, I need
not take up your
time in shewing, how
much the punctuality
of those transactions
might, in the latter
case, be enforced, by
the inspection principle.
These monastic
accomplishments
have not been in
fashion in our country
for some ages: therefore
it would be
lost labour to recommend
the principle
in that crew. Neither
are they awhit more
so, where I write: so
that I should get
as little thanks for
my pains, were I
to make any such
proposal here.
accomplishments they are not in fashion here I write/ On the contrary
we are dissolving monasteries, as you would lumps of sugar. A noble lump
for instance, we got t'other day at Thieff, enough to feed a brace of regiments
besides pickings for other people. I do not mean therefore to make any proposals
here for applying the inspection-principle to the forming of an
for their accomplishments. But if in my return to England, or at any other
time, I should happen to go by the Monaste ry of La Trappe, or any other where
they are in earnest about such business, it would be cruelty to deny them the
assistance it might be made to receive from the inspection-principle.
Flinching would then be as impracticable in a Monastery, as cribbing
in a school. Old scores might thus be rubbed out with as much regularity as could
be desired: nor would the pride of Toboso have been so long a disenchanting
of could her Knight could have put his coward Squire into an Inspection-house.
Neither do I mean to should I give any instructions to the Turks for applying
the Inspection-principle to their Seraglios: no, not though I were to go
Constantinople again twenty times: notwithstanding the great saving
would be made in Eunuchs, of whom one trusty one, in the Inspection Lodge,
would be as good as half a hundred. The price of that kind of cattle could
not fail of falling at least ten percent, and the insurance upon marital honour at
least as much upon the bare kind given of such an establishment in any of
the Constantinople papers. But the drubbing I got at Shoomlo only for
taking a peep at the town from a thing they call a minaret (like our
monument) in pursuance of invitation, has cancelled any claims they might
have had upon me for the dinner they gave me at the Divan, had it been
better than it was.
If the idea of some of these applications should have brought
a smile upon your countenance, it wont hurt you, my dear father, not should
it hurt the principle. Your candour will prevent you from condemning a
and new invented engine of Government, because some of the purposes to
which it is possible to apply it may appear senseless, or trifling, or
mischevious, or ridiculous. Its great excellence consists, in the great strength it is
capable of giving, to any institution it may be thought proper to apply
it to. If any perverse applications should ever be made of it, they will live in
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